The night before was an awful night. Ruby's top tooth is cutting in and nothing I did could help ease the pain. I tried cuddling, holding her, sleeping with her, singing, orajel. Like I said, nothing worked. We just had to endure the pain together. My pain was watching my little girl cry and scream which hurts my heart more than anything, but also I was in pain from still being sick and majorly sleep deprived. I was tense, angry, frustrated, confused, I felt that I was lacking a valuable tool to help my daughter escape the pain and to help her get some sleep.
Like I said above, as I put her down I hoped with all my might that it wasn't going to be a repeat evening. As Eric and I put our heads on our pillows, closed our heavy eyes and took a deep breath I heard her squawk. It wasn't the same kind of painful shriek like the night before. So we laid there asking the same ol questions. What should we do? Do we go in there and risk her getting more worked up or do we see if she will drift back into sleep? This is the most asked question in our house. WHAT DO WE DO? SHOULD WE DO THIS OR DO THAT? I decided that I needed to go in and hold her, love her, and make sure she knows that I am there when she is in discomfort, that's what I would want if I was in her shoes. I picked her up, she immediately put her head down and wanted to go to sleep, so we laid down in bed and we tried to go to sleep together. WE are both not use to sleeping together, she rolls and thrashes and I am just the target for her whipping limbs. She sat up and started crying & crawling around. It was obvious she didn't want to be in bed with me. I decided to go out into the living room and kitchen and just walk around singing to her. Her eyes were open and she was some what calm. Then all of a sudden she was awake and wanted to play like it was 10 in the morning. Instead of trying to control what she should be doing (sleeping) I went ahead and followed her lead. We hung out with Bodhi, she was talking saying Da Da Da. She crawled all around the house, she was totally content and having a good time. I didn't think this could go on for too long..........Right? It was 11pm. She's tired right???
NOPE, she wasn't tired, she was playful and happy. Instead of getting frustrated with the fact that I wasn't acquiring my much needed sleep, I changed my mind frame and went along with her playfulness. I liked how I didn't get upset or frustrated or angry, I was smiling with her, talking with her and just being a supportive mommy during this hour of quiet exploration. Eric came out to see what was going on. We rolled out my thai massage/rumpus pad brought out the pillows and blankets and thought a good old fashioned slumber party would be fun. We laid down thinking that she would curl up like a little pup with her parents to go to sleep. NOPE, she wanted nothing to do with us, she was still on the go. So where is this all going you ask????????
Fast forward, I noticed she started rubbing her eyes and slowing down, I picked her up, sang her a song, told her how much fun I had with her and that I will always be here for her but now it is time to go to sleep. I put her in her crib and walked out of the room. NO CRYS! NO TEARS!, SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP Baby Ruby. She didn't make a peep till 7:20 this morning. Still no tooth but a much smoother and calmer evening for all of us.
I learned a very valuable lesson last night and I have Ruby to thank for it. Thank you for teaching me to let go, to go with the flow and to find acceptance in the moment. As much as I feel that I decide what we eat, when we sleep where we go, sometimes the little people of the house have just as much if not more say than I do and I appreciate my 1 year old teaching me about this. Thank you Ruby for this valuable lesson.
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